i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
