i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
These tits shall not be calmed
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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