I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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