nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize