if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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