That's when you crack a 10am beer
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
