I just saw a hot homeless man
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
