If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
