Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
