He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize