she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS