yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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