so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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