No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
