If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some magic done to my vagina
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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