Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
