Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
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Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
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Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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