i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
