Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
