no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
