Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Randomize
