His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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