i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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