Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
