Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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