it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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