Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Your cock deserves a montage
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
