Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
