I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
