idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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