Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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