im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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