No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
