You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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