I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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