Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
