using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
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She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
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yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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