she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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