dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize