More tranny stories later!
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
