moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
But we have bathrooms and they dont
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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