I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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