i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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