I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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