i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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