Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
