His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
