ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
