i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
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What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
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Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I think my moral compass just broke
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