Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
