Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize