can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
