I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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