I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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