I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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