I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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