I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
