I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize