Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
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The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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