Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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