It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
