none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
